Saturday, November 16, 2013

THE LOST SAGAS

What follows is an anomaly of the Digital Age: originally a conversation via direct text message with Special Agent SUPERFREAK, a team member from across the Puddle. When I transferred the text to Blogger, it promptly dumped & went wherever it is all the lost one's and zero's go . . . I managed to salvage what I'd lost but had to reconfigure for Blogger with all the nice pictures to look at which are the hallmark of a STORMBRINGER post . . . S.L.


STORMBRINGER: It took me awhile to understand why November 11th is Veterans Day in USA and our "Remembrance Day" is Memorial Day in May . . . it's because of the Civil War . . . Lincoln started Memorial Day . . . so Armistice Day became Veterans Day . . . People seem to behave like its still Armistice Day or Remembrance Day


SUPERFREAK: Ah, thanks for explaining, I've often wondered! Weird, don't they realise they should be celebrating veterans!


STORMBRINGER: There will be a wreath ceremony at 11:11 at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, for example . . . its like we have TWO Remembrance Days, but one is for the Living . . .


SUPERFREAK: So it's not just people getting it wrong, it's people who should know better! So long as people are recognising I guess it doesn't matter!!


STORMBRINGER: Then again we don't have an Armed Forces Day so it all equals out. And of course we don't have an . . . . . . Queens Birthday or anything like that . . .

. . . although we DO have a Queen!


SUPERFREAK: Ha ha, are you referring to your *Glorious Leader* by any chance?!!


Supreme-All-Knowing-All-Powerful-Most-Merciful-Sublime-Ruler-of-the-Two-Houses Barack Hussein Obama


STORMBRINGER: No - we refer to him as the "Current Occupier of the Oval Office" . . .

Our old Queen was Liberace . . .


. . . but he's gone now, so now we have a NEW Queen:

Barney Frank


There's also Hillary a.k.a. The Hildebeest . . . she's the Royal Bitch . . .


We actually have ANOTHER Royal Bitch - that would be the Wife of the Current Occupier of the Oval Office; Michelle . . .

. . . American Royalty is difficult to understand . . .


SUPERFREAK: Who the hell is Barney Frank?


STORMBRINGER: First openly gay Congressman, BIG TIME liberal darling of the Left. Look him up - preferably on YouTube so you can hear him speak. He is the most disgusting aging homo in this or ten thousand other parallel Universes.

In the early 90's his gay live-in lover was busted for -get this- running a gay escort agency out of Congressman Frank's taxpayer-funded Washington DC residence. What do you think of that?


SUPERFREAK: Sounds like a lot of our politicians!! I'm surprised he was ever voted for!


STORMBRINGER: Well he's from Massachusetts so maybe you begin to understand how his Royal Ass got anointed. Likewise the reason why he was not prosecuted for having a (homosexual) brothel in his govt-provided lodgings . . . This was during the era when Royal Bitch Hildebeest was Co-President and an unimaginable degree of hanky-panky was tolerated at the highest levels . . .


. . . so all charges were of course dropped . . . to include drug trafficking charges and serving liquor without a license.


SUPERFREAK: Not good, I hate that one rule for friends and another for everyone else attitude!


STORMBRINGER: Everyone knows that for Royalty these sort of things are not crimes they are simply misunderstandings. Resume enhancers, if anything . . . whereas for you and me it's a trip to the Big House. We are not Royalty.


SUPERFREAK: WE ARE BETTER THAN ROYALTY ! ! !


STORMBRINGER: Oh, of that there is no doubt! The Royalty scene in America is very complex . . . more like Ancient Rome than modern Europe.



Just as Ancient Rome had 4 Caesers (the ‘rule of four’ system established in 293 AD by Emperor Diocletian) two in Constantinople, capital of the Eastern Roman Empire, and two in Rome, capital of the Western Roman Empire . . .

. . . we have our Royalty in the Eastern Capital, i.e. Washington, and also in our Western Capital, i.e. Hollywood.


George Clooney is the King of this western part of the Empire . . Sean Penn is the Clown Prince..

Tom Cruise is also the Clown Prince . . .


. . . but there are disturbing rumors - quite well-founded I might add - that he is actually a Queen-in-waiting . . . this is why Her Royal Highness Princess Kate had to skate out of there . . .


SUPERFREAK: Ours are definitely easier to cope with, apart from the odd toe sucking scandal when they marry into the lower deck then they're pretty well behaved!!


STORMBRINGER: Two princesses can be together but only for short period of time then one of them morphs into a Royal Bitch and then its over.


SUPERFREAK: I'm blissfully unaware of the ins and outs of Hollywood and its star performers . . . I know who Tom Cruise is, but who's Kate?


STORMBRINGER: Kate is child bride/estranged wife of Tom Cruise, mother of their daughter Suri.

The Western capital of the American Empire is Hollywood but when Liberace was Queen his palace was in Las Vegas.

There was once a time in America when we had a good King John . . . also known as "Jack"


. . . but there is much confusion regarding the details of his reign . .

For example the myths and sagas describe his capital as "Camelot" . . .

There is some confusion regarding his relationship with Good Queen Marilyn of Monroe, because she was of Hollywood . . .


Good King John was also known as Jack which adds to the confusion because of the mysterious being known as Jackie.


Jackie was an etheral spirit-like creature whom some believe provided King John with much needed class and style.

. . . and how can a King be a Jack? A King is not a Jack nor a Knave . . .

It was a good time in America and the people loved Good King John and the good works he did . . .


The lovely Queen Marilyn serenaded him . . .

He liberated the Bay of Pigs, but somehow things went horribly wrong . . .


The Pigs came back - evil, snorting, cigar-smoking creatures who pointed nuclear missiles at Camelot . . . and Good King John had to spank them down once more, and make them behave like good little piggies . . .


. . . Good King John went down to the land of the Viets and embraced the powerful Warlord Diem . . .


. . . and he established peace and demilitarization after deposing Diem . . .



SUPERFREAK: Go on . . .


STORMBRINGER: But sometimes there is disquiet in the Kingdom, and so it was for Good King John . . . he went down to Dallas, powerseat of the Principality of Evil Lyndon of Baines . . .


. . . Good King John should never have gone there . . .

The myths and sagas are very confusing as to what exactly happened in Dallas, power seat of Evil Overlord Lyndon. .

An evil imp Oswald lay await in ambush with his terrible weapon Mannlicher-Carcano . . .


. . . which launched three Magic Bullets...

These Magical Bullets were of great Sectional Density which gave them extraordinary momentum and penetrating power. ..

These Magic Bullets - supplied by the evil cigar-smoking pigs who Good King John had previously smacked down and humiliated . . . as well as over-penetration the Magic Bullets had HOMING capabilities- they could come back around and hit their target from another side!


SUPERFREAK: Ha!


STORMBRINGER: So it is recorded in the Sagas. The terrible weapon Mannlicher itself possessed a soul.. a living sentient being in and of itself.. capable of wreaking havoc all by itself . . . much like the legendary soul-drinking sword STORMBRINGER . . .

And so we see when the evil imp Oswald stated "I didn't shoot nobody, no sir." he was actually telling the absolute truth . . . even though it was a double negative . . . he was giving a Shakespearean soliloquy: "OSWALD ACTED ALONE!" . . .


. . . the soul-slaying Mannlicher-Carcano FIRED ITSELF!

The first Magic Bullet entered Good King John's shoulder, over-penetrated to also hit Prince Connally, who survived the two follow-on bullets . . . which circled around the Grassy Knoll & returned to hit Good King John in the face and blow off the back of his head . . .


SUPERFREAK: What a saga!!


STORMBRINGER: Indeed. The Sagas tell of the ethereal spirit-being Jackie climbing across the back of Good King John's chariot in a vain attempt to save his life . . .




SUPERFREAK: Go on . . .


STORMBRINGER: . . . stuffing his brains back into his head and putting the piece of skull back into place but it was for naught . . .

Jackie's powers were a keen sense of style and a certain savoir-faire- she was not a healing muse . . .

Meanwhile Good Queen Marilyn was also dead, some say taken by the same nefarious forces that brought the downfall of her King John . . .

And so the Evil Overlord Lyndon of Baynes became King in the East . . .


. . the spell was broken . . . the magical kingdom of Camelot faded away into a mystic dimension . . . some wonder if it ever really existed at all?

But so mighty and strong was Good King John that it took Forces of Evil another 10 years to expunge his good works from the land . . .

. . . several of his emissaries made a miraculous journey to the moon!


They planted flags and claimed that planetoid for the American Empire . . .

. . . and ten years of peace existed in the pastoral land of the Viets until the Nefarious Forces of Evil betrayed our commitment and withdrew . . .


. . . allowing the evil cigar-smoking pigs to enter from the north and rape, kill, pillage and burn spreading poison seed from their nuclear-tipped penises . . .




SUPERFREAK: Wow!!


STORMBRINGER: There was a good King in the West of course who ruled Las Vegas although his palace was in Graceland (to keep distance from Queen Liberace)


This King - known to us only as "The King" - was also good but he was under the spell of a mad Dutch Colonel. It is unknown his involvement in Good King Johns downfall . . .

. . . but it is telling his career and popularity experienced an upswing following the death of Good King John . . .


Here The King shakes hands with the Most Evil King Richard of Millhouse, successor to Evil Overlord Lyndon of Baynes.

Did The King somehow compromise himself, do something rash?

All that is known is that after the year '73 King Richard of Millhouse was driven from his throne by the Nefarious Forces of Evil, the cigar-smoking pigs with their nuclear-tipped penises fanned out across the continents spreading their poison everywhere they went . . .


SUPERFREAK: And . . .


STORMBRINGER: Vietnam . . . Laos . . . Cambodia . . . Angola . . . Congo . . . Nicaragua . . . Guyana . . . Grenada . . .

Iran, the land of the Persian Shah . . . all of our far-flung provinces and Principalities . . . all were lost . . .

. . . and "The King" - who was the last Good King - after '73 suffered a mysterious malady . . .


. . . his body swelled up and he ultimately died on the toilet . . .

The spirit-like being Jackie fled to the land of Souvlaki and Retzina and fell under the spell of a powerful troll . . .


. . . and the American Empire decayed . . . the cult-like Disco movement with it's maddening drumbeat took over the hearts and minds of the people . . .

. . . a series of weak and foolish kings weakened the Empire so bad that even the great Ronaldus Maximus could not staunch the wound, he could only postpone the inevitable . . .


Which brings us to modern times; the first Marxist coup detat of America by a true Dark Horse, who emerged to upset the Royal Bitch Hildebeest's plans for domination . . .


. . . by uttering the magic words "Hope" and "Change" with hypnotic undertones . . .


SUPERFREAK: So many fell for those words . . .


STORMBRINGER: Yes, similar words were uttered by another great leader who was going to change everything & fix it for the better . . .


Just as the Evil Fuehrer created a crisis where there was none by burning his own parliament the Reichstag . . .


. . . So it is with the Marxist Obama; core American values are being torn down and cast aside . . .


"When Fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross." - Sinclair Lewis

This quote makes absolute sense if one views the cross as a symbol of religion, in this case the godless religion of Liberalism.

STORMBRINGER SENDS

2 comments:

  1. Sean - one minor correction if I may - bawnyfwank was never a CongressMAN in any fashion - that's only one of the reasons I usually refer to all of them as CONgress critters ;-)

    OTB MCPO sends.

    ReplyDelete
  2. An Epic.

    Sadly, it falls right into the category of "you can't make this shit up".

    Although you can tell it eloquently, satirically, and poignantly, as you have done here.

    Well played, sir.

    ReplyDelete